Nobody Loves You
by KINGalbuurt and GODsebastian
Summary: Harry potter looked up as Bella sat down next to him. The years hadn’t treated him kindly since Ginny broke up with him over some stupid incident involving too much alcohol, some underage muggle girls and an enhancement charm.
1. The not so grand entrance

**Nobody Loves You.**

**Crossover: **Harry Potter & Twilight

**Genre:** Humour/Parody

**Rating:** T

**AN:** This fanfiction was induced by pregnant teenagers, CB regulars, molding cheese pizza and lack of sleep.

This is why medical students shouldn't skip their classes to talk to Swedish boys who look about twelve. (and deny it.)

If this authors note is any consolation of what's to come. You've been warned.

* * *

"Welcome students, new and returning. I hope you had a most delightful vacation." The Elderly man started at the podium his eyes sweeping across the corridor from above his half moon shaped glasses.

_Footsteps echoed through the baron corridor, heeled steps taken cautiously._

"This year will be a most marvellous one here at Hogwarts. Many of you will over come great obstacles you never thought possible, some of you will accomplish your wildest dreams." The bearded elder gracefully walked across the stage, he walked along the entire table in which the staff sat.

_Brown eyes flashed, as those careful precisely taken footsteps came to a stop at large, old wooden doors._

"As you have noticed, there have been a few additions to our staff for this semester. We have a 'new' defense against the dark arts professor, many of you are familiar with him however. Professor Remus Lupin." The headmaster waved his arm towards the man before speaking again: "We also have an apprentice potions master in our midst. Professor Sebastian Deiderich. He will be assisting Professor Snape this year. Many of you who are struggling in potions..."

The mans eyes flashed across the room singling out certain people, "Should use this resource well." He finished simply.

_Impatiently a foot tapped against solid cement floors, until the old wooden doors started to open on their own. Those footsteps then started once more._

He opened his mouth again to continue his annual speech, but closed them in a little exhale as the doors suddenly creaked open. Taken back by this, he adjusted his half moon shaped glasses and the entire hall confused turned around to look what might cause this sudden hold up. Hundreds of eyes were met by the sight of probably the most average looking girl there was to be found.

_This could only be discussion the way she walked. Without any apparent reason she walked very slowly and moved her head in a way that made Colin Creevey breath out in fright:_

"Is she's having a seizure?"

Dumbledore raised his hand and coughed theoretically into his closed fist.

"Miss, do you need help?"

Not one of these questions reached the ears of Bella Swan – in her world she was walking, big winds with no logical source whatsoever were blowing her long curly hazelnut brown hair into cascades flowing behind her, as she walked into the great hall in slow motion to the sound of a badly remixed version of an old Roxette song.

Of course, this was not the case. It didn't take long until the entire hall had lost interest and turned around for Dumbledore to continue the speech. This is a perfect example how the human race functions, if something is bothersome one tends to just turn away and wish that the annoyance will go away. In this case, the entire Hogwarts student body wished Bella Swan would just go away.

Not that she would.

Dumbledore looked slightly disturbed, but cleared his throat once more.

"As always, the forest is strictly forbidden for all students and caretaker Filch wants to remind you that.."

The girl stopped mid way down the long stretch that was the great hall, totally flabbergasted by the response from the student body, back in Forks she would have been ogled like eye candy, what was the deal with these people?

Surely it couldn't be that they were British as the actor who played Edward in the upcoming popular movie about her was British himself. She stood there in utter confusion while the elder man continued to speak, she probably wouldn't have budged if she hadn't heard a hiss from her left.

"Girl. Didn't your family teach you manners? Sit down." This was the voice of the ever snide Draco Malfoy.

Bella was speechless, she quietly went to sit down beside the boy, but the nasty look she received told her to go elsewhere, after wandering around trying to find a seat and being shunned like the acne ridden mathletes were in her old school she finally managed to find a seat beside a few Hufflepuffs.

And even they were humiliated to have her there.

"Before we dine." The headmaster spoke up "I have been informed we have a new student. Isabella Swan, who has yet to be sorted. Isabella if you would come up to the podium." He signaled to the older witch to bring the sorting hat back up to the front

Hesitantly Bella stood once more, and made her way towards the front. Which was a great relief to the Hufflepuffs she had been beside. Carelessly, and more confidently then she should have been she picked up the pace, just to trip over her own heels and fall face first into the Slytherin table.

If one thing was for sure. By now. Nobody wanted this girl in their house.

The only one that offered the poor girl a hand was an average height boy with vivid red hair and freckles, as he asked if she was okay, Draco groaned in disapproval

"Albert, for Merlin's sake, get away from her, she'll be fine!"

The redhead turned his head as his name was uttered by the blonde and in the sudden scolding, he lost the grip of Bella's hand and she once more fell to the floor in a very unflattering matter. Albert jumped, startled and looked down.

"Oh, I'm sorry!", he said and reached out his hand again, but Bella just gave him an uncertain look and stuttered.

"N-No.. thanks, I'll manage myself".

Albert wrinkled his eyebrows and freckled nose, pouting a little confused at the girl who tried to make it up to the podium. The entire Slytherin table seemed to sink down and mutter insults, but when Albert carelessly shrugged his shoulders and went back to his seat they all fell silent and looked away.

At the same time Bella made her way up to the podium where McGonagall stood waiting with the hat. The old witch's mouth was a tine line as she watched the young girl getting closer. Why was it that every single year some girl had to turn up, and always at the most inappropriate time? Last year a girl had turned up just in time for the Christmas holidays, that is not a suiting manner for young ladies.

Bella smiled her most endearing smile as she sat down on the stool in front of the witch. Well.. at least it was endearing in the poor disoriented girl's head. To the rest, who blankly stared at her, it was just very average, like herself.

McGonagall sighed and put the hat on the girl's head. At least this girl wasn't blonde.

The girl had no idea what was to happen next, as the hat was placed on her head until suddenly she heard a chuckle in her head.

"Quite a display you put on there." The sorting hat said to her. Causing the girl to squeak and half the great hall to stare incredulously at her.

"Edward? Is that you?" Was Bella's most unintelligent response

"No, this is not Edward." The hat answered irate most likely from the girls two dimensional thoughts.

"Who is it then? Are you my conscious?" Bella inquired in an attempt to be cute.

"Ughhh, I can't deal with this. Every year there's one of you on the list." The hat laughed bitterly in the girls mind. "I suppose I'll put you the same place I put every other one..."

With that the hat called out loudly "GRYFFINDOR."

McGonagall snatched the hat off the girls head, scared if it stayed in contact with her much longer it may become contaminated and unusable next year, unhappy with the results of the sorting she waved Bella off toward her houses table.

Bella walked much more carefully this time towards her assigned table, she sat down in the only available seat, beside a pudgy brown haired boy.

Harry potter looked up as Bella sat down next to him. The years hadn't treated him kindly since Ginny broke up with him over some stupid incident involving too much alcohol, some underage muggle girls and an enhancement charm. In comparison to many other famous persons put under stress, he hadn't resorted to alcohol. Instead, he had fled into a world of chocolate frogs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.

Ron, who was sitting next to Harry, raised an eyebrow as Bella sat down. She smiled confusedly at Harry's intense stare.

"It's fine, he's just hungry", a curly haired girl said and looked up from the year's newest study books.

"Shut up, Hermione", Harry grumped and wiped of his mouth on the back of the sleeve, still staring.

Later in the evening after people had finished their meals, Dumbledore waved with his hands and announced widely:

"Now, I will let all you tired students go to bed. Tomorrow starts the new semester, and you wouldn't want to the first thing you do to be disappoint your professors!"

Greasy haired Snape half smirked at this, and a swooning noise was heard from the Slytherin table—that sounded surprisingly a lot like a male.

The great hall started to empty as students left for their dormitories, and Ron had to pull away Harry from the very disturbed Bella. She liked attention, that was true, but that was just insane. Since no one wanted to talk to her, she had to try and follow the flow to find where the dorms were. Sadly—with her very average (read: low) IQ, she managed to lose everybody.

And ended up standing in an entirely empty great hall, alone.

* * *

**To Be Continued.**

**Read & Review, please.**


	2. Just some flesh wounds

**Nobody Loves You.**

**Crossover:** Harry Potter & Twilight  
**Genre:** Humour  
**Rating:** T

**AN:** This fanfiction was the result of pregnant teenagers, CB regulars, moulding cheese pizza, too much sugar, not so legal drugs and lack of sleep.

This is why medical students shouldn't skip their classes//not pay attention in them, to talk to depressed Swedish children who need to be on drug trials for everything. (And deny that too.)

If this authors note is a continuation of the previous one that might predict any insanity later in this nicely formatted wall of text. You've been warned again.

* * *

Seeing how average Bella was, it took average time for her to make it to the dorms. In all honesty, the success was rather average and the truth to be told, she actually got lost.

"Is this close the Griphindor's dorm?", she asked and blinked confusedly as she walked through the empty, cold corridors of the dungeons. A few paintings of some old dark magicians observed her in disbelief as she passed. An old witch hid a smile in her hand behind the frames when she heard how the girl couldn't even get the name of house right.

"Maybe I'm lost", she continued to converse with herself lightly, as she stopped in front of an old armour. "There sure aren't any students around, no vampires either. I wonder where Alice is.." she philosophised with a carefree tone and reached out a hand to touch the armour.

"Girl, what in Merlin's beard are you looking for?" an old alchemist wizard barked from the painting. A clatter loud enough to bring back the dead was heard as Bella dropped the visor from the armour on the floor, startled by the sudden voice.

She turned around and saw no one in the corridor. Confused she scanned the entire scene and didn't notice at all the obviously moving paintings.

"H..hello, Edward, is that.. is that you..? Your voice sounds very deep, do you have a cold?" she tried hopefully as she still was looking back and forth.

The painting facepalmed.

At the same time, a door flew up and a familiar face for all Alan Rickman fans was displayed. Snape's eyes shrunk into two narrow lines as he saw the very average girl, speaking to seemingly no one at all, in the not too average cold dungeon corridor.

"GIRL. What are you doing roaming the corridors? And at this hour?" Snape snapped causing Bella to jump a good fifty feet in the air and fall on her rear end. In twilight people would have found the action adorable and endearing but to Snape and his reality. This was just sad.

"Dad?" The girl said peering through squinted eyes towards the tall figure before her, if Snape could sweat drop like they did in Anime he would be doing so right at this very moment. It seems this girl was in some desperate need of glasses if she could mistake her hairy red-neck sheriff of a father for the potions master.

"I am not your father, girl." He spat the words out not even faltering for a second. There was no way this girl was his daughter she was far too average. Snape started to speak again:

"Swan, you will be serving detention with me tomorrow after classes are finished. If you think for a second of not showing up, or being even a fraction of a second late. I will extend that to three months." The man internally cringed hoping this would make her show up on time as he didn't want to see her average appearance every day for three months longer then he absolutely had to.

"But. Professor. I-I'm lost. Couldn't you please understand." She girl whined out. She had never gotten detention before. Even if she'd been caught skipping classes the teachers always gave her a break, while the girl was internally moaning about how this place was far too different Snape chuckled coldly his dark eyes glaring at the disgustingly under developed character before him.

This was all too amusing for him, sure, the girl in front of him had his absolute disgust. But what was nicer than to have someone to hate? Besides, Harry Potter was no fun to hate on anymore. Everybody hated that boy now – or at least they tried to stay away from him, in fright of getting eaten.

"Go back to your dorms, Sir Candogan will show you. SIR CANDOGAN!" Snape shouted after the painting of the fairly unobservant painting.

The potion master and the girl stood quiet for some minutes.

"Uh.. nothing.. is happening", Bella mumbled, quite intimidated by the potion master by now.

Snape, who had noticed this as well, wrinkled his eyebrows and shouted again. A black dressed figure came peering out from another painting and motioned for the potion master to get closer. The greasy haired man moved closer to the painting and put his ear next to the painted frame. He nodded some and his mouth turned into a thin line

"Then fine", he growled. He grabbed the very confused girl and dragged her towards the exit of the dungeon. "McGonagall, come and get your incompetent student, you old witch!" he called angry and pushed Bella out of through the dungeon door. She turned around instantly, only to be met of the door that was slammed shut in her face.

In the same time the red-haired witch came down from the stairs, rubbing her eyes, wearing a night gown very suiting for a respectable witch her age.

"Severus, what's going on, what have Potter eaten now .." her voice faded out as she caught the sight of the average girl standing there and looking up at her with very big and hurt eyes. The Twilight character looked a little like a hurt puppy and frankly, McGonagall wanted to kick her.

And that's what she did. It wasn't like the ministry of magic would care all that much about a few broken ribs that could be easily mended. Besides this girl was no Albert Boiverst or Draco Malfoy. And frankly nobody really cared about her well being, hell if McGonagall was to kill the girl now the most she'd get would be a temporary suspension to appease the parents of the schools other attending muggle borns. Really she was about as important as Hannah Abbot.

(Protip: The fact that you have no idea who that is simply proves the point further.)

After the elder witch had kicked every area of the girl's skin that the Hogwarts attire would hide multiple times she grabbed her by the collar of her robes and drug her towards the dorms.

She dropped the girl off in the presence of the fat lady and started to walk off totally ignoring Bella asking her for the password to enter the dormitory.

When McGonagall was out of view Twilight's Mary-Sue sighed and sat down her back to the wall and started to ramble on to her self about how if some guy named Edward was here nobody would treat her badly, and she would get the respect she deserved.

Many of the paintings on the wall thought the girl psychotic as they waited impatiently for her to drift off into sleep so they too could get some shut eye.

Little did they know Isabella Swan was a sleep talker.

________

The morning after, things got rather awkward. The entire day started with McGonagall and Professor Flitwick having to separate Harry and Bella, hence Harry always went up really early to eat breakfast before everyone else. And there Bella had been, just there outside the dorms. It's not like the paintings didn't encourage him to try and devour the girl. Honestly they just wanted her to shut up for just a moment.

All the paintings in the entire corridor was awake and cranky, it was easy to say that no one so far liked the new Gryffindor student.

"You're fine, girl, stop crying", Madam Pomfrey urged as she healed the last little insignificant scratch on Bella's arm. The average girl was crying big crocodile tears, the event had been very traumatic for her. It wasn't every girls dream to wake up and find a fat former hero chew on your arm, drooling all over your pretty little clothes.

"EDWAAARRRDDDDD, I WANT.. I WANT MY EDWAARRDDDD!" she cried. Madam Pomefrey just snorted and motioned her to leave, since she was done. Bella left, still crying and whining as she went to the opposite direction of the Great Hall.

Come on, she still didn't know where anything was.

Parading around like an absolute moron must have been Bella's forte, as it seemed to be the only thing she ever did. The girl was still very traumatized by the horrendous attack on her body and potential rape in which Harry Potter had initiated. But hey. At least he didn't have venom coating his teeth that turned people into vampires.

"EDWAAAARRRRRDDDDD" The girl suddenly fell to the cement floor in a very dramatic fashion and started wailing at the top of her lungs only to be stopped by a swift crack to the back of her skull by blonde male who loomed over her.

"CARLISLEEEEEEE. YOU CAME TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER!" She screamed before latching onto the blondes leg only to be kicked off and to hit a wall while the blonde leered at her in absolute disgust.

"I don't know who you think I am." The blonde started. "But whoever it may be, I would not have a foolish name such as Carlisle." He added with a drawl that could rival that of Draco Malfoy.

"BUT, BUT, BUT" was all the under intelligent and overly plain girl could muster between far too many dramatic sniffles and tears that would remind one of the acting in a bad soap opera.

"Oh bloody hell." The blonde muttered as he started to walk away from the pitiful girl. "I am not looking forward to having that in my classes." Were the last words he uttered before stalking off as fast as he could from the annoying girl who sobbed on the floor in the corridor.

It took quite a while for the poor girl to reach the great hall. The only ones who were still there when she arrived were Harry Potter and some Slytherin students, who just enjoyed observing the remnants of the poor boy. Bella, who still hadn't forgotten how she had waken up that morning, resorted to an empty table in between. Especially since the blonde boy from earlier, glared threateningly at her if she walked in any other direction.

Sighing she sat down on an empty chair and started eating.

Now it just happened to be like this that a pair of feet walked up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. "You look alone, do you want to sit next to us?", a cheerful male voice spoke.

A high hissing noise was heard from the Slytherin table and Harry glared over his shoulder with a suspicious look.

"Albert! She's not even in our house! And she's… she's… _average _!"

The redhead didn't seem to notice the remarks, ones would call him stupid but most people would just shake their heads and agree that the boy really was damn naive. Bella, who was happy that someone talked to her with a nice voice, shone up.

"I'd love that!" she said happily.

Bella chattered on to the Boiverst boy about Forks and Edward and the boy politely sat there nodding his head seemingly in total awe of her tales of a vampire lover. Most of the people who walked by and overheard bits deemed the girl insane. Vampires and humans. That just didn't happen around here.

Suddenly the bushy haired girl from yesterday, Bella was sure was named Hermione ran up and interrupted the two.

"You two need to stop chattering and head to class. You wouldn't want to get in trouble." Bella thought this girl was very rude to boss her around and was about to ask her what gave her the right but Hermione started again:

"I know you're new here, so I'll explain. I'm the head girl. Which means because of my outstanding academic excellence for the previous six years of schooling the administration decided to promote me. I'm essentially just below the professors." She said a proud smile on her face.

"Oh, I see." Was Bella's stupid remark as she stood up this was signal for Hermione to go pester other remaining students to head to their classes and to pry Harry away from the food before him.

"Hey Bella, what class do you have first?" Albert said jumping up beside her

"I believe. I have potions– that's like chemistry I think." She said airily to the boy.

"Oh me too!" He said excitedly, latching onto her arm and dragging her out of the great hall. "We can be partners!" He added as he led the poor girl to her first class.

If only she knew that potions weren't really Albert's strong point.

* * *

**To Be Continued.**

Read & Review, please.


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